Maybe He’s Just a Tom-Girl

Having retrieved the bucket that our boys had left to its own devices about 50 yards further down the beach, I returned to the sandcastle construction zone/hermit crab amusement park area created by our boys and found that all construction, and conversation, had ceased.

Our boys, as well as a Tico boy who had joined in to the festivities, stood stock-still, staring aghast at a man a little further down the beach. The man, who appeared to be of western European origin, stood by himself with only his thoughts and his extremely small, overly form-fitting bathing suit for company.

Our eldest turned away from the one-sided stare down and whispered (he thought) to me, “Daddy, that man is wearing a lady’s bathing suit.”

Our young Tico friend then looked back at me and confirmed his suspicions on this front. “Si. Es para una mujer.”

I’d seen the issue at hand and didn’t want or need to look again but apparently all of the boys were awaiting my wisdom on this front. Where was I to go with this? While the term banana-hammock seemed like the path to an easy resolution, I was fairly sure that the term would immediately come back to haunt me. I took another quick glance and pronounced my judgement, “I think he’s from Europe. That’s how their bathing suits look.”

All three boys stared at me dubiously.

I repeated my observation in Spanish, thinking I might at least connect with a third of the crowd but only succeeded in creating looks as confused as my conjugation.

My youngest then took another long, blatant look before turning back and positing, “Maybe he’s just a Tom-girl?”

As I had no desire to continue the viewing or the conversation I nodded, while silently wondering if there was such as a thing as a Jane-boy.